


Death (All that and a bag of chips)

by Ch_ee_rios



Series: Sea Cucumber [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF Haruno Sakura, Crack, Dark Crack, Gen, Haruno Sakura is So Done, Haruno Sakura-centric, She dies technically, Temporary Character Death, because if i were her, because of course not, but like not really, i feel lowkey bad but let's be real, i love the idea of her just flipping off the world, i would've clapped back, that character development
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:08:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26621158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ch_ee_rios/pseuds/Ch_ee_rios
Summary: Sakura dies peacefully in her apartment. Too bad her Walmart-brand demon refuses to let her stay dead.
Relationships: Sakura/bullshit
Series: Sea Cucumber [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889821
Comments: 12
Kudos: 191





	Death (All that and a bag of chips)

**Author's Note:**

> I'd just like to say that Sakura isn't suicidal, she's just not going to complain if she signs out of life earlier than anticipated lol. She's such a mood oh my god.

Prompt: Sakura dies peacefully in her apartment. The grim reaper refuses to take her anywhere.

Dying wasn’t something Sakura had ever thought of. Realistically, of course, her job meant that one way or another she would die, but it wasn’t as though Sakura had a preferred way to go. She wasn’t quite so cynical despite the bullshit her boys have put her through.

Going peacefully in her bed, fully expecting to wake up the next morning? Sakura was not expecting that.

Even so, there was a certain sense of peace that greeted her when she became conscious of the darkness around her. It was like sinking into a warm bath after running ten kilometers through the freezing rain (her brow twitched when she remembered that the reason she was able to make that comparison was because Naruto had, in fact, forced her to run ten kilometers through the freezing rain after stealing her favorite bra as a ‘prank’).

Sakura felt at peace, floating in that endless space, at peace for the first time in eight fucking years. Her muscles had never felt so loose and her limbs felt endless. Honestly the stress began to build up the moment she was put on team seven with the most emotionally incompetent testosterone-filled dunderheads she’d ever met.

Now? Of course she wanted to see Tsunade-sama the next day, but at that moment…. death just felt so… warm, and soft, and so very not stressful…

“No. No, no,  _ no _ ,  _ fuck _ .”

Sakura choked when suddenly a hand(?) reached out through the warm floating feeling, grabbed her by the wrist, and body slammed her onto painful, solid ground.

“Bitch, who the fu- no. I just spent my whole goddamn break looking for you,” a dark, twisted and layered voice grumbled.

Sakura rubbed at her eyes and looked up to find- well. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure what exactly she was looking at, only that it was vaguely humanoid. Oh, and very, very pissed off. Which, like, honestly what a  _ mood _ . Its foot tapped impatiently against the black ground, something Sakura felt her brow crease at. Why did this thing think it had the right to be annoyed when it was the one that dragged Sakura away from her sweet spiritual bubble bath?

The thing glared at her, its not-quite-eyes smoldering with an air of ‘done’.

“Time out, okay?” It said, asking but not really. “I’m calling a goddamn time out on this one,” it’s head was tilted toward the not-ceiling, giving Sakura the impression that she was probably dealing with an underpaid deity of death or something.

Nonetheless, she felt it was her turn to be angry, pushing herself up to sit on the not-floor. “Can I go now?” She asked, annoyance coloring her tone vibrantly. “Like I’ve already fucking dealt with enough drama with people’s bosses and I was  _ trying  _ to enjoy my afterlife.”

“Um, okay, no, fuck you,” it said, it’s not-brows raising in offense. “How the fuck did you just die?” It’s arms moved around violently, giving off the sort of image that it was pacing back and forth. “Like it wasn’t even the whole ‘your time to go’ bullshit.”

Sakura blinked. “You’re seriously asking me how I died. Bitch, how would I know?” She gestured to the blankness around them. “I woke up here. I’m done. I’m out of the game.”

It pinched the bridge of its nose. “Except you’re like, really not. The guys upstairs are gonna be riding my ass about this for months.”

“...” Sakura was getting a bad feeling. Something like dread was pulling at her stomach. “I’m, I’m not going  _ back _ ,” she warned, leaning away. She’d watch over and worry about them, of course, but Sakura was  _ done _ . She didn’t care if it wasn’t her time, she’d  _ make it _ her fucking time.

It paused.

“Well I don’t fucking care. Do over; miracle time; get the hell back in your body, sweetheart, because I ain’t going down the corporate ladder for this,” it sort-of-smiled, waving its arms.

“Wait but-!”

-

“Sakura was,” Tsunade’s voice hitched momentarily, “my student. My daughter, really. She meant so, so much.”

Naruto’s voice pitched in. “Y-Yeah,” it was wobbly and choked when he spoke, “Sak- Sakura was my, my sister and I never…” Broken sobs filled the air.

Sakura’s consciousness came flooding back to her body in waves as she woke up slowly. Her fingers, tight and aching from hours of work, twitched. She heard who might have been Kakashi-sensei start to speak, but her head was aching something fierce.

The ceremony fell silent as slowly everyone began to notice what was happening in the open casket.

She blinked awake, lips pinching. Sakura sat up, ignoring the shocked and teary eyed faces of her friends and family watching her like she just-

Well. Fair. Sakura did just rise from the dead, she supposed.

Ino was sitting in the audience, red eyes puffy and terrified from where she was clutching Sai’s shirt. The rest of the rookie nine were there, actually, and each one looked so goddamn scared of like  _ she was a zombie or something _ \- well.

Kakashi, Naruto and Sasuke were there, each one brooding even- _ fucking _ -more than they had during the Wave Mission and Sakura- Sakura was  _ so close _ .

“Fuck you,” Sakura said, staring directly at them as she climbed out of the casket, wearing a pretty white dress. She held her hands up, middle finger flipping everyone off loud and proud as she stomped her way home.

Next time she saw the not-human-reaper-thing, she’d be bitch slapping him straight to the goddamn stars.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! I'll try to make my posting schedule faster than a literal month... but we'll see. Also, you can assume that everything in the series of Sea Cucumber happens in the same timeline unless stated otherwise.


End file.
